Curse

Kerwyn Nasilan · Jun 19, 2008, 11:11 PM // 23:11

The mission where you save Kormir, I HATE HER SO F'ING MUCH. She is the most useless, annoying, bitch ever. "Go attack the kournans" "Go into the deamon world and kill a god" "Only I can take the god power" NO YOU DID NOTHING, I WANT THE GODS POWER. Then she can't even help cleaning up her new home. "No you go kill mallyx, I'm to lazy"

poasiods · Jun 19, 2008, 11:28 PM // 23:28

Finish Prophecies... and go over to Cantha...

Canthan Noble: Don't touch me peasant, I don't know what kind of disease you're carrying.
Hero:...
Minister of Earth/Fire/Water/Air: Who the f are you?
Hero:...
Luxons + Kurzicks: Hm... We can't really tell if you're good enough. Go get us 10k factions.
Hero: I just saved an entire funking continent and got rid of ancient undead and titan abominations! I've funking ascended to be alongside the gods! You should be licking my shoes!

Finish Factions... Go to Elona...
Kormir: Enemies did not expect heroes of your orgasmic merit to aid us.
Hero: Yeahhhh
Kehanni: Oh ho ho HOE, one does not simply go up and talk to the princes.
Hero: Even though I've served with the Prince of Ascalon, proved myself to the king of the dwarves, restored Kryta's old monarchy, befriended Turai Ossa, outdid Turai Ossa, chilled with Envoys, and got eternal blessing from the Emperor or Cantha himself?

Finish Nightfall... Go to Far Shiverpeaks
Random Fatass Norn: We've heard of your merits but they're no more than childish fictions written for our children to us.
Hero: How many funking gods did you kill?

Snograt · Jun 20, 2008, 12:22 AM // 00:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yuhe Ji

"The Wilds" in prophecies is pretty much pointless. I think it's smart not to follow people who know the jungle well into the jungle and try to attack them. Come on, now, no one should be that dumb.

Is it just me, or is that a really subtle pointer to Vietnam?

The Meth · Jun 20, 2008, 01:19 AM // 01:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snograt

Is it just me, or is that a really subtle pointer to Vietnam?

Excellent catch.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerwyn Nasilan

The mission where you save Kormir, I HATE HER SO F'ING MUCH. She is the most useless, annoying, bitch ever. "Go attack the kournans" "Go into the deamon world and kill a god" "Only I can take the god power" NO YOU DID NOTHING, I WANT THE GODS POWER. Then she can't even help cleaning up her new home. "No you go kill mallyx, I'm to lazy"

/agree

You really have to wonder what the heck the gods are able to do sometimes. They don't want to interfere in the mortal world either then to just say 'hey, good luck killing the bad guys we let go' then when you go to their own domains everything has gone to hell. Pretty much the only evidence we have of the gods powers is their ability to maintain mending on large numbers of players for an indefinite time until they cross a glowing portal. Which, by the way, the kurzicks/luxons can do as well.

Sparks Dawnbringer · Jun 20, 2008, 02:21 AM // 02:21

Oh, for crying out loud most of the quests in pre are to teach new players how to do stuff. Like carry stuff and drop stuff, hence the whole honeycomb quest! Each mission in it's own way advances the story line. Maybe in a way you don't like or enjoy as much as others. But they were encluded to advance the story because GW is build around a story and not just a big place to quest.

Hyper Cutter · Jun 20, 2008, 02:24 AM // 02:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by WoodyDotNet

None were worth it if you look at GW2 lore. The whole world is in disarray! All the fighting and dying we did was for nothing.

Especially that Ascalon thing. Hey Anet, care to beat that horse a little more, I don't think the place is dead enough yet!

Quote:

Originally Posted by I MP I

9. Unwaking Waters - Pretty much the same failure of a mission as Vizunah Square except you get to kill a Dragon at the end. Which later becomes your ally.

Also the fact that you can't reach the dragon with melee weapons...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerwyn Nasilan

The mission where you save Kormir, I HATE HER SO F'ING MUCH. She is the most useless, annoying, bitch ever. "Go attack the kournans" "Go into the deamon world and kill a god" "Only I can take the god power" NO YOU DID NOTHING, I WANT THE GODS POWER. Then she can't even help cleaning up her new home. "No you go kill mallyx, I'm to lazy"

And in half a century or so she'll do absolutely nothing to stop Joko from taking Elona over (For that matter. Come to think of it, why can't we just kill him? I know the lore says he can't be killed, but I just can't imagine a universe where you can kill a god but the sarcastic mummy is invincible)...

BadgerznPie · Jun 20, 2008, 04:16 AM // 04:16

I agree on Dragon's Lair Bonus. "Yeah, you've proven yourselves about over 9000 times,but just for kicks you must fight me."
*party wipes*
"Woops, I killed the heroes, oh well"

ALF71BE · Jun 20, 2008, 04:35 AM // 04:35

Riverside Province bonus is the stupidiest thing I have heard.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerwyn Nasilan

The mission where you save Kormir, I HATE HER SO F'ING MUCH. She is the most useless, annoying, bitch ever. "Go attack the kournans" "Go into the deamon world and kill a god" "Only I can take the god power" NO YOU DID NOTHING, I WANT THE GODS POWER. Then she can't even help cleaning up her new home. "No you go kill mallyx, I'm to lazy"

Yeah that. I just want to kick that bitch everytime I see it. No matter how bad my situation is, that's why I never choose Margrid the Sly first.

MMSDome · Jun 20, 2008, 06:01 AM // 06:01

Pretty much all of Maguuma Jungle is useless.

Alex the Great · Jun 30, 2008, 03:43 AM // 03:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snograt

Is it just me, or is that a really subtle pointer to Vietnam?

but we don't get to use [liquid flame] to get through the jungle faster, unlike the army.

FlamingMetroid · Jun 30, 2008, 03:56 AM // 03:56

Factions, the all of it.
I protect this retarded motherf****r the entire game and he DIES in the end!?! Thanks for the well invested time Anet.

tuna-fish_sushi · Jun 30, 2008, 04:01 AM // 04:01

All the missions are a waste of time except for the last one's because then you get a cool green weapon! (or shield/focus)

Rhamia Darigaz · Jun 30, 2008, 04:49 AM // 04:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex the Great

but we don't get to use [liquid flame] to get through the jungle faster, unlike the army.

NAPALM
it's good for navigating jungles

Tom Swift · Jun 30, 2008, 12:37 PM // 12:37

for me it's a quest rather than a mission

Heart of the Shiverpeaks -

You fight a giant flame spitting worm who wipes your whole party 3 or 4 times till you finally limp away with a hammer so the dwarves can turn to stone - and what happens?

In the next mission (destruction's depths) the vanguard show up to help you fight destroyers, the asura lend you 3 golems which are pretty handy, and the norn help you fight destroyers. But what do the stone dwarves do?

When you finally get to them they are standing there doing NOTHING! Apparently, taking a smoke break waiting for you to do all the work. And then, in spite of the fact there is not an enemy in sight, they can lend you only TWO dwarves to help retake the central chamber. Heck, the two dwarves were so useless, I didn't even realize they were with me till the mission was over.

And of course, they don't help at all in the final mission - that's completely your job.

So, remind me again, why did I fight that worm to get them that hammer?

Hugh Manatee · Jun 30, 2008, 02:59 PM // 14:59

Pretty sure they were holding a defensive line at the gate. They couldn't attack without abandoning their post and had to stay in case any destroyers came in after you.

RiKio · Jun 30, 2008, 03:31 PM // 15:31

Bonuses of every mission often disapoint me.

Jetdoc · Jun 30, 2008, 05:21 PM // 17:21

Here's a quick synopsis of the missions and which ones I thought were kinda silly:

Great Northern Wall
- Purpose: Noobs...see if the Charr are about to attack.
- Result: Charr are starting their attack. Run (while the commanders are lmao)!!!!

Ruins of Surmia (SILLY)
- Purpose: LEEEROY JENKINS!!@!#!@
- Result: Sweet, there's a teleporter to Nolani...which is surrounded by Charr.

Nolani Academy
- Purpose: "To the KING!!!!"
- Result: We "saved" a bunch of rubble. Reward: Banished. Sweet!

Borlis Pass
- Purpose: "Make a hole, make it wide."
- Result: Well, we won't freeze to death out here.

Frost Gate
- Purpose: Get rid of Rurik.
- Result: Got rid of Rurik. "...and there was much rejoicing."

Gates of Kryta
- Purpose: Welcome to the Jungle!
- Result: You mean non-undead people actually LIVE out here? Take me to your leader!

D'Alessio Seaboard (SILLY)
- Purpose: Please join the most powerful fighting force in Tyria!
- Result: Whew...thanks for saving me. I thought 2 Knights could hold off 50 or so undead.

Divinity Coast
- Purpose: Lead the Chosen to the gathering place.
- Result: We have this all powerful E Pluribus Unum thing to guide you, but once the Chosen get to the jungle, all bets are off.

I'll do more.

Damian979 · Jun 30, 2008, 05:48 PM // 17:48

Gayla Hatchery: Let's have a giant turtle parade and hope the Kurzicks don't notice.

For God's sake hide the damn baby turtles in a box with some holes in the lid and carry them.

dark_prince2023 · Jun 30, 2008, 05:51 PM // 17:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhamia Darigaz

NAPALM
it's good for navigating jungles

also sticks well to kids!! lol

Edge Martinez · Jun 30, 2008, 06:25 PM // 18:25

Befriending the Luxons/Kurzicks.

"Hi, I've saved the world once before, slain mighty dragons, ascended, and I've helped so many people here in Cantha. Your good friend Togo and Mehnlo can vouch for me. I got your spear and killed the beastly. I'm here to help you."

"Ah. Well, go kill scuttlefish until we believe you."

And becoming a Sunspear General. (Granted, they did change this AFTER I'd done it a few times)

"Hi, I've done all the stuff previously stated to the Luxons and Kurzicks. Now I've saved the world twice. Since being here, I've helped uncover a plot that threatens not only you, but the world. I've led your people to safety. I've helped establish a base of operations in contested lands. I risked my life to recue Koss and the others. I'm here to help you."

"Yah... don't you have some ntoukas to kill?"

And then Eye of the North.

"Hello Vanguard/Norn/Asura/Dwarves. I've done all the things previously stated. In fact, I've finished helping you guys... seriously, the Great Destroyers is dead. I've already helped you. I-..."

"If you want some sunglasses, go kill frogmen. Bookah."